3 months ago, I hated my body. Absolutely hated. Avoided fitted sweaters allllllllllll winter.

I found myself looking at myself in the mirror. Like, a long hard look. I had been avoiding it, because I had stopped liking my body 20lbs ago.

We don’t discuss conversations with ourselves like that to those around us. Not even our closest people.

I kicked myself into gear. I hired a remote physique coach (sounds weird.. think virtual personal trainer + nutritionist + cheerleader). I completely changed my rituals and habits.

For the last 3 months (with the occasional needed-for-my-mental-health break) I have aimed for the following goals:

  • lift heavy weights 5x/week

  • complete 100+ minutes of cardio every week

  • drink 124oz+ of water a day

  • take 9k+ steps a day

  • track and stay under daily macros (~ 190C, 50F, 120P)

  • weigh myself first thing in the morning

  • take measurements and progress photos once a week

  • complete my “check in” weekly with my coach - provide all above data and answer questionnaire

Some days, I crush it. Some days, I need a break.

Most days, I feel encouraged, motivated, and confident. But, some days I cry out of frustration and rage. I miss the mark. I am hard on myself. I am a little lazy, then have to give myself grace to push past the guilt.

EVERY day, I am getting closer to my goals. Even the days where I straight up say “I’m not doing a damn thing today that I don’t damn well want to do.” Those days are important.

The next few days and weeks are even more important. Did you work through it? Are you compassionate towards your past self?

If the answer to that is no... stop, rewind, try again. Loving myself is so hard some days. I avoid the mirror. I wear looser clothes. I rage eat like total shit out of rebellion to myself (like that makes any sense).

But - I continually push to love myself better than I did the day before. Be thankful for this body that is healthy and continually proving to be capable.

Yes, I still stand in the mirror in good lighting and suck my stomach in and do that weird butt pop we do to make our abs/waist/booty look 🍑 (ladies get it)

I use her as my inspiration. I’ve shown myself that I could lose 15lbs in 3 months by pushing myself past my breaking points a few times. It’s important to push yourself to your limit sometimes. You will surprise yourself with where you land, and use that for motivation next time you find yourself there again.

It is even more important to always, always, always, be thankful for your current self. She will be who you look back at in the future, full of gratitude for what she was capable of.

Give her grace. Cheer her on. Love on her. Shit... I even check myself out in the mirror some days because it makes me feel good and I deserve it 🤷‍♀️😏

If you need someone to cheer you on, I got you. No, I’m not a personal coach. But I am a personal cheerleader for my ladies 👏🏻

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